Self-Regard refers to the way individuals perceive and value themselves. Alternative terms are “Self-Esteem” and “Self-image“. While “Self-confidence”, refers to appreciating how capable we are (“doing”), “Self-Regard” refers to accepting ourselves irrespectively of performance or capabilities (“being”). Simply put, Self- Regard is loving ourself. In building Self-Regard the role of Postive Strokes is crucial.

Positive strokes are verbal or non-verbal expressions of approval, appreciation, and encouragement. They can include compliments, praise, recognition, and acts of kindness that acknowledge and validate a person’s strengths, achievements, and positive qualities.Positive strokes can come from both external sources, such as compliments and recognition from others, as well as internal sources, such as self-affirmation and positive self-talk.

Importance of Positive Strokes:

  • They boost Self-Esteem: Positive strokes provide validation and affirmation, which helps individuals develop a positive self-image and belief in their abilities.
  • They enhance Self-Confidence: Regular positive feedback and encouragement build confidence and empower individuals to take on new challenges and overcome obstacles.
  • They foster Motivation: Positive strokes serve as a motivational tool, inspiring individuals to continue their efforts and strive for personal growth and success.
  • They improve Emotional Well-being: Receiving positive strokes creates a sense of happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment, leading to improved mental and emotional well-being.
  • They strengthen Relationships: Offering positive strokes to others fosters stronger connections, trust, and mutual support, creating a positive social environment.

One way to boost our Self Image is learn to accept Positive Strokes. Here are some tips:

1.Be Open and Accepting: When someone offers you a compliment or positive feedback, be open to receiving it. Accept it graciously and genuinely thank the person for their kind words. In specific:

  • Listen attentively: When someone offers you a compliment or positive feedback, actively listen to what they are saying. Give them your full attention and show that you value their words.
  • Maintain an open body posture: Keep your body language open and receptive. Face the person, make eye contact, and avoid crossing your arms or displaying defensive gestures.
  • Avoid deflecting or minimizing: Instead of deflecting or downplaying the positive strokes, accept them with gratitude. Avoid responses like “Oh, it was nothing” or “I got lucky.” Instead, say “Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.”

2. Believe in Yourself: Have confidence in your abilities and value. Recognize that you deserve the positive strokes and that they are a reflection of your strengths and accomplishments.

3. Avoid Downplaying or Rejecting: Resist the urge to downplay or reject compliments. Instead of dismissing or minimizing the positive strokes, acknowledge them and internalize the positive feedback. In specific:

  • Practice self-acceptance: Believe in your worth and value. Recognize that you deserve the positive strokes and that they are a reflection of your abilities and accomplishments.
  • Resist the urge to negate: Avoid dismissing or rejecting compliments. Instead of saying “I don’t deserve it” or “You’re just being nice,” accept the positive strokes as genuine and meaningful.
  • Express appreciation: Show genuine gratitude for the positive feedback. Say “Thank you, that means a lot to me” or “I really appreciate your kind words.”

4. Internalize the Positive Feedback: Take the time to reflect on the positive strokes you receive. Internalize the compliments and use them to reinforce your self-esteem and self-confidence. In specific:

  • Reflect on the compliment: Take a moment to reflect on the positive strokes you receive. Consider the specific qualities or actions that were praised and acknowledge them as strengths or achievements.
  • Affirm yourself: Use the positive feedback to reinforce your self-esteem and self-confidence. Remind yourself of your capabilities and the positive impact you have made.
  • Let go of self-doubt: Release any self-doubt or negative self-talk that may arise. Instead, focus on the positive strokes and use them as evidence of your abilities and worth.

5. Don’t Seek Validation Solely from Others: While external validation is important, it’s essential to also develop a strong sense of self-worth that comes from within. Don’t solely rely on others for validation and instead cultivate self-acceptance and self-love.

6. Practice Gratitude: Express gratitude for the positive strokes you receive. This not only shows appreciation to the person giving the feedback but also reinforces a positive mindset and fosters stronger relationships.

7. Learn from the Feedback: Use positive strokes as an opportunity for growth and learning. Consider how the feedback aligns with your goals and values, and use it to motivate and guide your personal development.

8. Share Positive Strokes with Others: Pay it forward by offering positive strokes to others. By recognizing and appreciating the strengths and achievements of others, you create a positive and supportive environment for everyone.

Receiving positive strokes effectively is just as important as giving them. Here are some tips for giving positive strokes in order to help others build their Self-Esteem:

  • Be Genuine: Ensure that your positive strokes are sincere and specific, highlighting genuine qualities, achievements, or efforts.
  • Be Timely: Offer positive strokes as soon as possible after witnessing or experiencing something praiseworthy, as it reinforces the connection between the action and the positive feedback.
  • Be Specific: Instead of general compliments, provide specific feedback that highlights the particular strengths or qualities you appreciate.
  • Use Positive Language: Frame your feedback in a positive and constructive manner, focusing on what was done well rather than what was not.
  • Be Mindful of Non-Verbal Cues: Non-verbal gestures like a smile, nod, or thumbs-up can also serve as positive strokes, reinforcing encouragement and support.
  • Offer Regular Positive Strokes: Consistently provide positive feedback and encouragement to create a positive and supportive environment for personal growth.

Positive strokes have a powerful impact on self-regard and the overall well-being of individuals. By offering genuine and timely positive feedback, we can help others to building a more confident, motivated, and self-assured society. At the same time, by employing relevant behaviors, we can effectively receive positive strokes and benefit from their impact on our self-regard and well-being. Accepting and internalizing positive feedback is an important part of building self-esteem and cultivating a positive self – image.


#positiveselfimage #positiveselftalk #selflove #selfconfidence #loveyourself #selfawareness #mindset #selfimage #positivethinking #positivemindset #selfcare #wellness #mindfulness


Image by Freepik